Today we lost Lina. She was a great friend, a loyal companion, and a very grounded presence in our home. She was Ashara’s (our five year-old daughter and resident sage) pet, a witty and steady potato bug. As small and insignificant as Lina was to anybody that did not know her, she was a vital part of Ashara’s circle of friends. She befriended her a few days ago and played with her for a long time. Lina would walk all over Asha’s hands and mesmerize our daughter with her simple yet profound presence.
As I woke up this morning, I was greeted with the sad news that Lina had died. Ashara said to me “when I went to play with her I thought that she was asleep but then she did not move and I knew she was dead”. What I saw in my pristine and innocent five year-old was the awakening of a heart crushing reality we all go through. When you love, no matter how big or small, no matter how serious or frivolous, no matter how important or trivial the object of your love is for others there is always a future toll: the grief of loss.
All that matters is that you love. With that love comes the inevitable pain of loss. The unexplainable and heartbreaking feeling of the loss of love and the knowledge that “the world will never be the same now that you are not here” is what lingers indefinitely.
Ashara asks us to pray at breakfast for Lina. She is a very spiritual child and knows that we needed to honor her friend with a proper goodbye. Holding hands in the prayer circle for the departed Lina, my wife and I were very moved by the maturity and character of our little girl. I remember Lina as my daughter’s playmate, not an insignificant insect. My wife talked about how lucky she was to have a great friend like Ashara, a sentiment rarely attributed to any household bug.
I looked at my sweet daughter as my eyes were swelling with tears and I saw my daughter’s first undeniable face of grief. She was becoming aware of the feeling of lost love. Today she cried her first tears of grief of what hopefully will be a long life with other tears of loss. Yes, I wish for her to able to have a lot laments caused by loss. This wish comes from my love for my daughter because I want her to have a life full of loves worthy to be mourned. I also wish to have the privilege of being able to stand by her side during these turbulent times.
Beloved Lina, thank you for giving these tears of love to my daughter and my family. Your life made us remember that all that really counts is that we be able to love and express our affections. Thank you for reminding us of who we really are. Rest in peace dear Lina, forever will I remember you with gratitude.
– by Gui Mansilla
Gui is a Coach, Psychotherapist and Director of Breakthrough Center in Toronto.
Breakthrough Center delivers Psychotherapy and Coaching services to Individuals, Families and Groups. We support clients in creating strong personal foundations to experience a lifetime of positive change and growth.
– Edited by Edgar Valderrama Medina